Get What You Need

Why I do a Yearly Cleanse

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 03:21:00 +0000

I am on day 4 of a 5 day cleanse. It's a liquid fast. For five days instead of eating you drink a blend of apple juice and toxin absorber - a powder made from psyllium seed husk, bentonite clay and apple pectin (with a "delicious" ginger flavor) every 3 hours, 5 times a day. You also drink lots of water and in the evening you can supplement with miso infused vegetable broth. The first day you have the soup you're grateful to have anything that doesn't taste like apple juice. By the fourth day you could care less, the flavor feels kind of pointless. And I love food. I mean I really love food.

And every year I make sure to put this on our calendar. And apparently every year on day one I ask my boyfriend why we put ourselves through this torture. But we do. And it's not as if you walk around hungry all the time. You really don't. You're just a little bored and annoyed that you can't have anything to eat. It's amazing how food-centric our lives are. Oh, and did I mention you can't drink coffee or black tea or anything other than the apple juice and water?

So, why do I put myself through this? For a few reasons: 1) Even though I know it's just water weight, I lose a couple of pounds every time I do this fast and I like the temporary boost it gives my metabolism after a long, sluggish winter. 2) I am not a very disciplined person when it comes to denying myself of food. Sure, I can tell myself I won't eat candy but if there's any in the house the way I ensure I won't eat any tomorrow is to actually eat it all today. So it's nice to follow-through on something so personally sacrificial. 3) I always learn something new about myself when I do this thing. And I always cleanse something more than my bowels.

I think every time you push yourself, even just a little you give yourself a chance to learn and grow. And I believe that if you don't keep up with your "studies" - the longer you leave things undiscovered - the harder the lesson will be to learn. And by then you more than likely don't get to choose the delivery. So, getting the opportunity to start to let go of something that no longer serves me, especially in a gentle, self-induced way is very welcome. Because when you hold on to something, it's never just that something you're holding onto. One of my teachers says this about negative emotions, "When you allow negative emotions in, it's not just one thing living with you, soon all of its cousins move in." I take this to mean two things, 1) If you hold on to anger, for example, you not only hold on to anger about a certain thing but you actually tend to hold on to all anger, and 2) If you start with anger ,feelings like jealousy, hostility, impatience and fear are probably not far behind. Just like you can't do a liquid fast and decide to selectively eat a few things here and there, you can't selectively hold on to negative emotions. They poison the waters and clog your life and limit your flow.

And sure, yes, perhaps what is exiting my body is actually intestinal plaque, it's disgusting whatever it is and I do feel more "hollow" after doing this for five days. I swear my digestion feels like it's had a tune-up (as long as I don't just stuff myself with a burger soon after). But I think, for me, it's more important to do the cleanse than the cleanse itself.

Love What you See in the Mirror

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 16:12:00 +0000

I was looking in the mirror the other day and started noticing the changes I’m going through as I enter my 42nd year. Long gone are the days when I used to be skinny, when I bared my middle without a thought. Although I’m not complaining, thanks to two good sets of genes I do pretty well “for my age” what I really connect to is this: “What did I see when I looked in the mirror when I was lean and young. Did I ever think of myself as pretty?”

Due to a set of life circumstances, I’d have to say: mostly not. Both my mother and sister were these glamorous drop-dead gorgeous types that garnered and kept most of that attention. My mother from birth. My sister morphed into it during her later years in high school. So, I was labeled the “smart one” the “outgoing one” the “affectionate one”. I had my share of boyfriends and boys with crushes on me (the “smart ones”). But I never thought they liked me because I was cute, I always assumed it was because of something else – my personality, for instance. Although in and of itself, an excellent experience, I certainly learned to value those things about me that are more lasting, I can’t help but feel bad for the teenager, the 20-something that would look in the mirror and see only her personality.

How often now do you wish for something you had in the past? A less wrinkled forehead, flatter stomach, smoother skin…

And what today do you not appreciate that you will find yourself longing for in the future? Think about it. There are wonderful things about you this very moment that are being obscured by you constantly looking backwards at what you miss, and here’s the kicker: that you didn’t even appreciate then! What a waste of time and energy. Instead value all that you have in the present because if you think your forehead is wrinkled now, Sweetie, I hate to say this but eventually, it’s going to get worse and all you did when it was better was complain. Look in the mirror and love what you see. Ten years from now you’ll be glad you did.

What Teaching Couples Massage Classes has Taught Me

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 17:57:00 +0000

Mike (a.k.a. Stel) and I have been teaching our Couples Massage Workshops for four years and I feel just as good about the class now as I did when I first developed it. The idea came to me on a plane while heading to Seattle. I was staring out the window, checking out the patterns on the ground and the loft of the clouds, thinking about what I like doing and knowing I wanted to develop a way to share with others and it just popped into my head. So I grabbed my computer and immediately starting to type out the manual which would end up becoming the structure of the class itself. And then I never looked back. I’d never led a workshop like this, but somehow I knew that it’d be fine. It turned out the class was exactly the length it needed to be and although there were times in the beginning when we only had 2 attendees the workshops continued to grow and have been really well received. This is the closest I’ve ever felt to the concept that when you do something you love it doesn’t feel like work.

What I’ve learned is that you can’t really force something like that. You can’t study the market and decide to do something you have no real interest in just because there appears to be a “need” for it and then expect it to feed your soul. I have a wide-variety of interests and have attempted many things, and over and over again it is those things that I feel a true connection to that end up succeeding.

So, if you’re looking to start something new, whether it’s a career path or writing a book, creating a class or moving to a different location, start with a list of items that really excite you:

Identify those topics that you can research all day on the Internet and never get bored.
Think of activities you can participate in that you hardly tire of.
Recognize places that energize you.
Write down everything you love.

Don’t edit yourself. Even if it seems crazy allow yourself to think big or small, include anything that comes to mind. Let that list inspire your next steps. See what happens.

Our workshop has now led us to begin the filming process of our Couples Massage DVD which is very exciting. I’ve never produces a DVD and don’t have any experience marketing one. But I’m good at research and know there are experts out there that can do what I don’t know how. And I also know this DVD is a labor of love and no matter what happens I’ll feel good about it.

Limiting Beliefs: What's Your Story?

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 15:08:00 +0000

I’ve been talking to a friend of mine who is in this toxic relationship but feels unable to do anything about it. His partner constantly berates him, tells him how worthless he is and that his only chance of happiness is to step up, follow-through with their relationship and be with her.

I know this person rather well. He is very inconsistent, will tell someone he loves them and wants to be with them and then weeks later change his mind. Or perhaps he wasn’t so sure of his feelings when he was speaking them in the first place, but at the moment it seemed like the best thing to say, more than likely to avoid a conflict. Cowardly? Sure. Worthless? No.

I get how he frustrates people. He’s frustrated me. But that doesn’t mean that he deserves to be punished by having to follow-through in a toxic relationship just because he once said he wanted it. No rings were exchanged, and no vows before witnesses were made. If you’re on the receiving end of his “live life in the very moment” approach its confusing, unnerving and can just down-right make you angry. But this person he’s with knows how to push his buttons and is exploiting his weakness and essentially holding him hostage. And he’s letting her. When I ask him why he’s still with her he says he doesn’t know.

I had a similar situation once. I was in an unhealthy relationship but much as I wanted to I couldn’t get myself to break it off. I tried. I would gear myself up for the conversation and then once I started it I’d start to go into a panic. It made no sense to me. I have always been a strong, independent woman. I’ve broken up with people before but this, this was different. I couldn’t do it. I felt like my life depended on staying with this person. So I did. Logically I knew I had to leave. I wasn’t even in love with this man. But something was holding me back, something that defied logic and common sense, something that weakened me to my core.

What I happened upon was “regression therapy” (a form of hypnotherapy). My friend had been using it to help her with some of her issues and so we tried it together. What it did was open up a story that I had held onto since childhood.

When I was a little girl my mother would always tell my sister and me: “Don’t let your father leave you alone in the car because something bad might happen.” Considering it was the 70’s in Seattle and that my sister was five years older than me so she was talking to a 7 and 12 year-old it’s clear she was being overprotective. But we listened to our mother. One day we were out running errands with my father and he had to run up to his office to pick up some papers. He told us to wait in the station wagon. My sister and I freaked out. “No, Daddy, NO, we can’t wait in the car,” we begged. “Look, I’m going to be in there for five minutes, just lock the doors and wait here, I’ll be right back,” he replied. But we wouldn’t have it. He couldn’t understand why we were being so unreasonable and in the end left us to wait for him. My sister and I were so scared we hid in the back seat on the floor and covered ourselves with our father’s overcoat. Of course we did such a good job hiding that when he came down a couple of minutes later and didn’t see us in the car he panicked and went off looking for us. After about 20 minutes or so my sister and I were terrified. He finally returned to the car to find us crying and although he didn’t yell at us, he was really upset. I can’t speak for my sister, but the whole time I was waiting I thought I was going to get kidnapped and killed. I really did. I thought I was going to die. And that is what I felt every time I tried to break up with my boyfriend. That I was literally going to die.

I realized this had a lot to do with my mother’s fear for our safety and my willingness to hold onto it. I also connected the fact that while I was this my boyfriend my father had died so somehow, someway I had substituted him as the male I needed to keep me physically safe. Once I uncovered the limiting belief, letting go of the story came almost instantly and the next day we broke up. It was an incredible relief. I would have never put those two situations together but that childhood trauma was what was running my life. So strange how our minds work.

Which leaves me to wonder how many other people are walking around with a story, a limiting belief that keeps them hooked in a relationship, a job, a behavior, a perception about themselves that defies their logic and common sense? Doing the regression later peaked my interest in studying hypnotherapy. And after talking to my friend, I feel I’m coming to the conclusion that in addition to helping people quit smoking that this is the area I want to concentrate in with my clients. It’s such a debilitating place to be, feeling paralyzed by a silent story. The frustration and anger I held onto only to have it relieved in an instant. The rest of the usual pains of breaking up weren’t avoided. I went through them and in doing so learned a lot about myself. I can’t help but think sometimes that if I had found this method earlier I could have wasted less years in a relationship I knew I didn’t want to be involved in; I could have started healing so much faster. But mostly, I’m grateful for the years I saved by finding it at all.

Living in Harmony

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:03:00 +0000

It’s been two years since my boyfriend and I moved in together. I remember writing about it just as we were packing up getting ready to consolidate our households (“Creating Space” April 2006) and really, so far, so good. We love our Ukrainian Village apartment. The place felt like home from the get-go. The kitties have never been happier; they are so thrilled with their new surroundings, adopting different rooms during different times of the day (and year). They like the light on a summer morning from my office, looking out the window from atop of the pedal steel guitar in the spring and fall, sleeping on the radiator cover in the Living Room during the winter (even made them pillows). And as always, the relationships in my life continue to teach me lessons I may or may not really feel like learning but always end up grateful for having done so.

I used to work from home a lot. There were times that I hadn’t talked to anyone the entire day. So of course when my boyfriend walked in the door I went a mile a minute on whatever was on my mind. He on the other hand had just endured a 45 – 90 minute commute and needed some quiet down time. It seems simple enough but it’s hard to see what you’re doing right at the moment. So, after I could tell something was amiss, I stepped back and asked myself, “What would you like to feel when you walk in the door to your home?” I’d like to feel peaceful and have a home that welcomes me. So I posed the question to him. Because here’s the point: Having a point of reference is a good place to start a conversation (“You know, I was thinking, if I came home after a long commute I’d like a little peace. Is that something you’d like, too?”), but it’s not enough. You then have to find out what feeling peaceful means to the other person - doesn’t matter what it is, or even if you understand it. As long as it’s not something that requires you to compromise your core beliefs or sense of self all that matters is giving to your partner what is meaningful to them. Treating your partner the way you’d like to be treated is good when it comes to generalities: respectfully, kindly, lovingly, etc. but not when it comes to specifics. When it comes to specifics it’s very personal.

For example, when I’m upset about something with work or life, I need to feel comforted and listened to and talk through my feelings. When my partner is upset he needs to have some alone time playing his guitar or practicing his martial arts before he wants to bring it up. Two different approaches, both effective. I don’t get wanting to be alone from the beginning, if you told me to play my guitar or take a yoga class first, that wouldn’t work for me. That would be great for me after but not before. But I don’t have to get it. I just have to get him.

So I ask you, are you treating your partner the way you want to be treated specifically or generally? Do you know what your partner needs in certain situations? What situation seems to consistently cause stress that you could approach differently? The smallest adjustments can create some wonderful harmony.

I find it an excellent sign that our relationship has actually gotten easier every year we’ve been together. And I don’t need to understand why. Sometimes gratitude is more than enough.

Resistance and Persistence

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 20:09:00 +0000

Stel and I were recently in Mexico with my family. We did a great job of balancing rest with activity and spent quality time with our loved ones. I was grateful for the the peace and insight that time gave me. I had set an intention to disconnect from ego while I was there (you know how sometimes familial dynamics can push your buttons) and was afforded a few opportunities - I'll give myself a B+ for effort and a C- minus for execution. It was a good trip. I exercised my listening skills and took the time to ask questions and hear answers without waiting to talk and learned some lovely things about my family that I didn't know before. I spent time with our "gente", met some new friends of my sister's and one afternoon went climbing up a steep, rocky, beautiful hill in order to get to the top of the Tepozteco pyramid (my older sister, by the way, wasn't even remotely winded during the climb - that's her on the left - her cardio is superhuman - I was both awed by and proud of her; she's amazing!).

And coming home to face the normal routine of the day-to-day I feel some resistance to "office life" and the problems that wait for me there every morning. And that doesn't feel okay. Even though I'm not very pleased with what my responsibilities have evolved into, in all modesty, I am good at my job and I do feel positive about the organization and the people I'm working with. So, what am I missing that makes me feel anxious about 30-40 hours of my week? What is fascinating is that the answer came to me before I asked that question. As I was emailing the below to a friend, I realized that I have been coming across these concepts a lot lately and in putting this blog entry together, I became aware of my resistance to the present moment when it came to my job. These are not my words, but a paraphrasing and summarizing of spiritual teachings and conversations:

Ask yourself, 'What is my relationship with the present moment'? Are you at peace and acceptance or in negativity and resistance? Life is the present moment, it is not tomorrow or yesterday. Negativity makes an enemy of the present moment. If you are not friendly with the present moment, you are not friendly with life. In other words, what you resist, persists. Accept what is, first. Making peace with the moment does not mean you have to approve of it or condone it, merely accept where you are. Being in a place of dissatisfaction is not a good starting point for changing your life. Action does not come from a place of resistance, it comes from a place of acceptance.

And I realize how true this is for me. Most of what I've created has been from a place of peace and stillness: while staring out the window of an airplane, when I wake up before the alarm, after a walk around my neighborhood, while sitting down at my computer with a cup of tea, after a long climb up a hill to see a pyramid... When I feel dissatisfied and try to do something about it, I tend to spin my wheels and I usually end up feeling more anxious and blocked and stressed. I have learned that when I get like this, it's best to step away for a while and occupy myself with something else. But how powerful to realize the "how" of the knowing and become aware that I can take my actions a that step further into acceptance.

This kind of awareness, "getting something", seems to always comes after I honor my feelings (another good lesson) - for me the challenge is allowing myself to feel the knowing and take the steps I need before I have to name the knowing. In my life I've often gotten bogged down with the need to understand, but not so much anymore. Of course ironically, as I started to give up "the need to know" the understanding and answers often came more easily as a result. Go figure.

So while I was writing to help a friend during a difficult time, life presented me with a tool to use with this resistance - persistence thing. Instead of fighting where I am/what I'm doing at the moment, I need to make peace with it. Only then can I really decide where to go from there. And if the answer is "Well, this is where I am right now and that's not going to change anytime soon", then accepting it will certainly take the edge off. So, I plan on asking myself often, "What is my relationship to the present moment?" This tool has been a long time coming! I remember tacking the saying "what you resist, persists" up on my bulletin board at my first job when I was in my early 20's, along with "over analysis leads to paralysis". Apparently I finally stopped resisting long enough to hear the answer and have become aware enough to connect it to the question. My relationship to the present moment? Relief and gratitude.

Be Your Own Valentine

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 23:39:00 +0000

My boyfriend and I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day. Before our first February 14th he asked me what I wanted to do and I suggested we eat at my place (there was a my place then) and afterwards go see Electra at the movie theater. For that I was brought flowers and a card - I think it was out of gratitude. I've always tried to keep the holiday pretty low-key since I believe that if you have to wait for Valentine's Day for romance or attention the relationship is probably doomed.

Happily, we're both pretty good in that department but not because either of us are overly suave or sappy. Sure, we have our cutesy moments, but I think what's important in relationships is that you define what is romance and intimacy and not let the likes of Hollywood or Hallmark define that for you. Thankfully, ignoring the cell phones and curling up on the couch with some delicious Belgian beer and a tray full of snacks we've made together to watch some MMA counts as a romantic evening. And champagne flows freely all year in our household, not just on February 14th. So truly, I can do without the gross commercialism Valentine's Day brings.

But I like the general theory of having a day where love is celebrated. Wouldn't it be nice though, if loving who you are was important today? If being your own Valentine was valued over finding someone to be your Valentine? Now that holiday, I would find useful. If today, instead of writing about why someone else is so special to you, you actually put a list together of the things you like about yourself? Maybe I'll try that. I encourage you to join me. That would certainly add a lot more meaning to this odd holiday. And hopefully, there will be a point where I don't wait until February 14th to appreciate me because I don't want this relationship to be doomed either.

Silence is No Longer Golden: Reflections on Dr. King's Speech "Beyond Vietnam"

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 18:10:00 +0000

This morning I woke up to Dr. Martin Luther King’s speech given on April 4, 1967 called “Beyond Vietnam” and I was inspired by his eloquence, his words, his message. I realized that this message is just as important now as it was 40 years ago. What struck me about his speech was how direct it was. It lacked the political “double talk” that is evident today when everyone is so careful about how to say something lest they offend. And to that I say: have the courage to be honest and truthful, to speak directly, to call it as you see it. Let people make the choice to agree or disagree, to join in your struggle or start their own. In these dark times, where our constitution is being constantly diluted and challenged, where a handful of corporations own our media, where the current administration thumbs their noses at the American and International public, where politics has become more and more grossly a road to personal wealth and less of a road to national prosperity, we must offend. We must speak our minds. We have to. As Dr. King referenced, “A time comes when silence is betrayal”. I believe we have reached that time once again.

And I call to the clergy to rise up, to change the belief of the secular public that you are more concerned about whether evolution is taught in schools and instead are angered about the injustices that are happening around you. To change this red/blue divide and unite in your outrage regarding the lack of education for the poor, the problems in our health care system, the rising greed of corporations and their link to our government. In 1967, there appeared to be a shift in focus. Again, I quote the words of Dr. King as spoken at Riverside Church in New York, “And we must rejoice as well for surely this is the first time in our nation’s history that a significant number of its religious leaders have chosen to move beyond the prophesying of smooth patriotism to the high grounds of a firm dissent based upon the mandates of conscious and the reading of history. Perhaps a new spirit is rising among us. If it is, let us trace its movement, and pray that our own inner being may be sensitive to its guidance. For we are deeply in need for a new way beyond the darkness that seems so close around us.”

So, I too, call for a peaceful revolution, a revolution of our value system and current ways. A call to raise our social consciousness and not idly stand by spending our money at Wal-Mart and instead call into question a government that is compounding wealth for a few carefully chosen people via this lie-based war. War, good or bad, used to stimulate an entire economy, now, as we flirt with recession in the US, it appears to just widen the great divide between the super rich and the super poor. It is in this corruption of power that our politics have now been based. This is not a conspiracy theory, it’s not even hidden. When a subsidiary of Halliburton - whose ex CEO is our current Vice President - was awarded a no-bid contract to restore Iraq’s oil industry, where was the outrage? Where was my outrage?

I believe we must all participate in creating an atmosphere of “positive revolution of values”. We must inform ourselves, protest in any peaceful way we choose, “We must be prepared to match actions with words by seeking out every creative method of protest possible,” stated Dr. King, “These are the times of real choices and not false ones…Every man of humane convictions must decide on the protest that best suits his conviction, but we must all protest.” We don’t have to do everything, but we must do something: write letters to our local and federal government officials, to our corporations, to the press; vote with your dollars whenever you can; demonstrate; inform yourselves; fight for those that don’t have the means; live by example and then choose a method and make your voices heard! Or else all this election year will produce, regardless of what party sits in the presidential seat or controls Congress, is more of the same and we’ll have no one to blame but ourselves and our silence.

If you’re interested in reading Dr. King’s entire speech:
http://www.stanford.edu/group/King/publications/speeches/Beyond_Vietnam.pdf

New Year Resolutions

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 17:39:00 +0000

I am not one to set new year resolutions as a rule. Resolutions tend to happen more spontaneously for me. But for those of you into the New Year Resolution tradition I offer a few suggestions:

1) Don't set a resolution you think you should do but don't really want to do. For example, if exercise really just isn't your thing but let's say, you want to lose a few pounds or want to enjoy a healthier lifestyle then start there. "I will exercise 5 days a week at the gym for 2 hours" seems unlikely if you really hate gyms. "I will lose X pounds by making healthy choices for myself every day", now that sounds more doable. Of course, we all know healthy choices will probably involve some sort of exercise - just pick something you like to do. See how many times you can walk the entire length of a mall in 20 minutes, that actually counts!

2) Think outside of your box. Oh sure, everyone always talks about thinking outside of our own set paradigms, but how often do we really do it? New year's resolutions are about bringing NEW things into your life not necessarily just rehashing the old. I find the internet is an excellent tool for this - I'll Google or Wikipedia someone I admire and then read about their interests and see where it takes me, or I'll search a series of words and then follow the links. My boyfriend and I are going to Tulum, Mexico this March and staying at an eco-resort. I'd never heard of eco-resorts before, all I started with was knowing we'd be in Mexico City visiting my family and that we wanted to do a 3-day trip somewhere else in the country while we were there. A few choice Google searches later and some quick referencing on TripAdvisor.com and we found what sounds like a really cool experience. We'll see how it goes, but it certainly is something new! Something new can be anything...have any of you heard of letterboxing or kettlebells?

3) Dare to "fail". I know that sounds weird, but here's the deal: If we limit ourselves by doing only what we think we can, we never really push ourselves to find out what we really can do. Fear of failure holds everyone back. It's a big one for me. But being brave isn't about doing things you aren't afraid of, it's about meeting challenges when you're scared. So meet them proactively and try different things, knowing that you might not end up being any good at them or liking them or maybe even being able to do them at all. And what you'll probably end up learning is that you can't ever really fail - you'll always get something out of the experience, even if it's as simple as knowing what you don't like. So try and make a souffle, or find a chess club, or take an African dance class or... Test yourselves this year.

4) Set your intention in a positive light. No more "I will not" and more "I will", please. I remember hearing an interview where the person being interviewed said, "I am no longer against things, I am now just for things". And I immediately thought, "That's crazy! How can you possibly not be against abuse or cancer or famine?" To which an answer was quickly given. "For example," the interviewee said, "I am not against cancer, I am for finding a cure." And then I got it. Sending out all this negative energy towards something can almost empower it. Do you think the devil wants to be loved? Instead, focus on the positive side of the statement and see how that changes you.

So, happy 2008 everyone! May your resolutions empower and serve you and you them.

Time Flies Whether You're Having Fun or Not

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 14:40:00 +0000

In December I accepted a consulting project and let me tell you, it wasn't an easy decision to make. After a very productive break (Yes, the last box was finally put away some time in late November. So it took a good 6 months, what's worth doing is worth doing well, right? Well, okay, maybe I just really, really don't like unpacking.) I discovered that I was actually missing consulting. Although things were going well, I couldn't quite figure out what direction I wanted to take my hypnotherapy/break-up coaching/massage related business in. I had a lot of ideas, but nothing was really grabbing me. When I developed my couples massage class I was flying back and forth to Seattle. I remembered how stepping away from something I really want but can't quite figure out helps bring me clarity. It was time to explore getting a new project.

And as opportunity would have it, I received a call. A person from a company I have worked with steadily over the years (although this would be my first assignment with her in particular) let me know that there was a project management job she wanted me for at a local non-profit. The project would be full-time through May, decreasing steadily through to October and finally ending up at about 10 hours a week by next year end. I'd be helping this non-profit get caught up with their close and billings, put best practices in place in their accounting department, assist in the budget process, etc. Right up my alley! I love project managing, felt good about working at a non-profit and knowing it would go part time by the summer was the break I needed without feeling I'd be abandoning my dreams. Win-win, right? Not just yet...

Right before I was supposed to start the project, she called me again. "They have no controller and they need you do be interim controller until we can help them hire a new one." My heart sank. I know I have a CPA and I know I've been in the accounting/strategy/managerial biz for a long time, but throughout my entire career, being a controller was never one of my aspirations. In fact, it was one of my worst nightmares. It's just not for me. I never registered my CPA because I never wanted to go into public accounting. Most of my career I was involved with projects, budgeting, forecasting, analyzing financials. It'd been years since I'd been part of a monthly close process. I was very honest and let her know all of this but they (my client as well as my "boss") were desperate. There was no one else available with my skills, she had faith in my abilities and would I be willing to do it?

Well, realizing I hadn't challenged myself in a long time, I decided to get out of my comfort zone and see what I was made of. I accepted the project and started right after Christmas.

On my first day I found out that not only was the controller position open, but the position had been empty for months. The CFO had been away on sick-leave for over a year and was just now returning part-time and after seeing the problems she was returning to, she was none too happy. My accounting manager and senior accountant were temps with less than a few months experience at the location. A close had not been completed since June or September. Morale was low, direction was lacking, it was, to say the least, a mess.

For the first month, every time I walked in the door I felt like I was a day late and a dollar short. It'd been a long time since I'd felt this incompetent and it was difficult to get motivated. I felt I had made a big mistake. But then I focused on why I took the project in the first place. And I thought of the staff that needed me, of this great place doing such wonderful work for the community that needed me, hell, I needed me. So, I bucked up.

Every day I reminded myself of why I was there. I applied what I believe is a quote from Soren Kierkegaard which goes something like this: "You can either make yourself miserable or you can make yourself happy, the amount of effort is the same." Time was going to go by whether I was having fun or not. As completely corny as it sounds, I decided to try and have fun. And in the process I learned a lot about myself.

I learned that if I ever had doubts about my skills and abilities as a consultant, that I can put those to rest. Not because I'm perfect or know exactly what to do each time, but because I'm willing to put in the effort, to ask questions, to figure out what needs to get done and how to do it. I do what it takes to get the job done. I learned that I'm good at motivating people and at bringing a team together. I learned that the unknown always seems scarier than it is. I learned to be less afraid.

Are there still days where I want to tear my hair out? Sure. Am I always cheerful? No. But I know I can change that when I want to. It's about me. So I take a lot of deep breaths and I try to bring fun as much as I can to the process. And I'm not talking about joking around and playing games. I'm talking about smiling and having a good attitude, at recognizing people's efforts and making a big deal about their and the team's accomplishments. It's about laughing at myself when I make a mistake and showing the team it's okay to not be perfect, as long as we keep learning and improving. It's about bringing in a pizza when we're all too busy to break for lunch. It's about taking a few moments to ask how everyone is doing and listening to the answer. Fun for me is also about doing my best and enjoying the results of those efforts.

The project itself has been progressing steadily forward and after three months, I'm happy to say they finally hired a controller. Over the next few weeks I will slowly be able to transition that part of my job over to him. I'm relieved to be able to devote more time to the projects I was initially hired to do. And being the interim controller provided me with a lot of knowledge - it helped me become a better project manager and it helped me become a better me. And learning that was a lot of fun.

The Audacity of Hope Indeed

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 23:40:00 +0000

Last night as I watched the election results come in I went to sleep with hope and today I woke up to wonderful news and it just keeps going. Regardless of what this means for the Democrats' position, whether politically we'll be dealing with gridlock or the endless veto, the people have spoken and the administration has been forced to listen. It's a good day for democracy and I'm truly proud to be an American, for the first time in a long time.

And it doesn't matter whether you're a Democrat, a Republican, a Liberal or something entirely different (or in between). What matters is that collectively we joined together to voice our displeasure with the administration and the choices they were making. We showed that we, the people, have a say. And ultimately I don't care if the Democrats have the majority or the Republicans do. What I care about are the issues. If Republicans made strides to improve health care, encourage stem cell research, protect the environment, raise the minimum wage, give every American a chance to hold a job and contribute to this country in a meaningful way, allowed every child the chance to have an education and do better, then I'd become a card-carrying GOP member. Because that's what matters, that we keep speaking up for what will make this country, and by that I mean this country's people, strong and healthy and productive and proud. Regardless of where you live, how you worship, or what political party you belong to, these are not partisan issues, these challenges affect us all. They're important to us all.

I want to thank you for fighting the good fight. For voting, for all your grass-roots efforts, for hanging on. Let's try and use this to help us move forward through to 2008. I know there are a lot of issues out there but perhaps we can each pick one and try to do something about it, in whatever small or large way we can. We've seen what apathy brings, you know?

And personally, let this be an example of what we can do in our lives if we just stand up and be present. If we say, "No more, today, I do something else." Anything is possible and we have the support of more people than we know. We all want a lot of the same things, even if how we want them is a little different. Let's focus on that and try and make lasting personal changes. It all starts with one.

And let us all continue to, as Barrack Obama recently put it, dare to have the audacity of hope.

Testing, Testing...

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 22:55:00 +0000

I just realized it's been a year since I started this blog, about a year and a half since I launched my business in earnest and now 2 months since my last consulting gig. So far, so good. Every day brings different emotions and every day I take them all in and try and let them just go through me (even the good ones, which for me, isn't the easiest thing to do!). I continue learning, more experientially than ever these days, to go with the flow.

I was in Europe with my partner for 2 weeks in September and I came back with a wonderful sense of peace and ease, it was great. Shortly after my return, though, appointments were getting cancelled, family issues came up, several people that had registered for a couples massage class didn't show and through it all I found myself questioning more, losing my sense of center, wondering where I was going wrong.

But then it occurred to me, to just take it all in, do what I could when I could and then let it go. When I took a step back, it all seemed like one big test, really. A test to see if I could maintain that sense of peace when things weren't going my way - when I wasn't looking at a Modigliani exhibit in London or swimming at night in the hills of Tuscany. If, even when what I could offer felt like it wasn't being recognized, I could be okay with that. If I could still feel strongly about about my business and still keep pursuing the dream of making CMo Solutions my main source of income.

And slowly, I've been regaining my composure. I've taken time to work on our apartment (something much more difficult to accomplish while holding one full- and one part-time job). I redid my website, came up with a new offering I'm excited to develop, figured out how to use a PayPal account to send invoices, set up a few more classes and have allowed myself to remain open. As absolutely corny as it sounds, when one door closes, another really does open. Sometimes it's just kind of scary to go through it into the unknown. But what was I thinking? That I'd be consulting with the same company for the next 30 years? That my business would somehow magically turn into my full-time gig while I worked full-time at something else? It was time to follow my own advice.

So I'm making space, setting my intentions and believing. Believing in abundance, believing in myself and believing that things will continue to unfold and that my life, which is not a test, will continue to amaze me. It's been a fun one so far.

A Study in Abundance

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 13:57:00 +0000

Whole Foods has this great gnocchi. I mean it's wonderful. They're little spinach stuffed pillows of delight and every time I go in I look for them in the freezer section. The product is made by a small local store, so it's not always available, but when it is I buy as many bags as I can. For a long time now though, I have not been able to find them. Not at the Ashland store or the one on Huron, nor at North Avenue, not even in Evanston. I started getting worried.

Food is a big thing for me. Perhaps it's my ethnic background. You can't really be Italian and Mexican and Spanish (with some Cuban and French thrown in there) and not love food. And it's not the eating of it only, it's also in the shopping, finding what catches the eye. And in the contemplation of what to do with that gorgeous eggplant you picked up, elegant and purple and bright. And then there's the preparation itself. To me, it's a creative expression of love.

But there's always been a hoarding aspect to it as well. I'm one of those people with a bulging refrigerator. I am uncomfortable if I ever get down to one head of garlic. Okay, I'm uncomfortable if I ever get down to two. It might have to do that when my sister and I were younger, my mother always saved the "last" of anything for my father (he had no idea and probably would have been mortified to have found out). Perhaps it represented a lack of control to experience pleasure whenever we wanted. When you're kids in the suburbs, you're reliant on your parents to provide just about everything. When the family went to Sears to pick up our catalog order we would stop at the candy and nut department and my father would buy us chocolate covered raisins and pistachios and sesame seeds and beef jerky. My sister and I were in heaven. We would put it all on a wicker tray and hide it in a very special place and ration it as if we were in a refuge camp. We wanted to make it last.

And so this strange habit, instilled in me since childhood is what sometimes makes me have to throw out the last of the venison jerky because I've kept the final piece looooong after its expiration date (didn't think jerky could go bad, did you?). Sometimes, it's more waste and false sense of security than anything else. Food, as all things is meant to be experienced and enjoyed. So, the other night, in the spirit of breaking free of old patterns, I nervously made the last bag of stuffed gnocchi. I prepared it with a wild mushroom ragout and served it with crusty bruschetta, started dinner with steamed artichokes and my boyfriend and I ate outside while drinking champagne. He, of course, didn't know it was the last bag. He would have noted the moment but only briefly and then moved on. I served so much food that evening that I actually had a little left over. I ate it for lunch yesterday afternoon.

And I enjoyed it. Every bite. And for some strange reason, didn't get all choked up about it being the last bag. I let it go. Later that afternoon, I went to Whole Foods to buy lamb. I was going to try my hand at Indian curry and out of habit (although I almost forgot) I went to the frozen section and checked for the gnocchi, even though I hadn't seen it for months. And there it was, nestled next to the artichoke ravioli. I was stunned for a moment and then in my mind flashed the reinforcement of letting go, of ridding myself of what no longer serves me, of truly believing in a life of abundance. All through a sack of spinach stuffed gnocchi. There were ten bags. I wanted to take them all. I bought three.

June is Negative-free Month

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Fri, 16 Jun 2006 18:47:00 +0000

Not sure why, but on June 2nd I woke up and decided that I wasn't going to be negative this month, which meant no negative thoughts, words or deeds - not towards me or others. I can be so sure of myself that I didn't say that I'd try to do this, but that I was going to do this. In an almost "La-la-la, I'm not going to be negative in the month of June" sort of way. Pardon my bluntness, but this not being negative has been kicking my ass!

Let me preface this with the fact that I consider myself a fairly optimistic person. I don't like to wallow in self-pity or see the glass as half-empty. I've actually had $100 stolen at a hotel once and decided that although inconvenient and unfair, that the $100 wasn't going to make or break me and perhaps the person that took it needed it to pay rent or buy food. Truly. And I'm no Pollyanna either. I just really try to stay positive when I can.

I've been realizing, though that staying positive and not being negative are not necessarily one and the same, but more like two steps to a process. And as much as I thought that I'm a glass half-full kinda girl, this exercise has really helped me realized how often that isn't true.

The first couple of days I was met with tremendous amounts of hostility. Not aimed at me, just around me. There was a crazy person at the back of the bus one afternoon that kept screaming obscenities at a person at the front of the bus. And by crazy, I mean probably mentally imbalanced. This passenger apparently believed that a young Hispanic couple with their two children had underpaid their fare. So as she made her way to a seat in front of me, she was shouting: "Why did you only pay ONE fare. You F-ING JERK. You think you only have to pay ONE fare? I have friends. A TIGHT CIRCLE OF FRIENDS of all races but they're f-ing LEGAL. I bet you're not F-ING LEGAL. Get off the f-ing bus and go back to your COUNTY you F-ING JERK!". If you'd seen her walking down the street, the woman, about in her 50's looked perfectly normal. But on the bus you quickly got the whiff that this wasn't just an upset traveler. In between her ranting she devoured a small bag of Ruffles (making sure to pour the crumbs into her mouth) and drank from a 2-liter of Coke. After about 5 minutes she finally calmed down, grumbled to herself and then proceeded to quickly dart and grab scraps of paper she found on the floor, read them and then either throw them back on the ground or put them in one of her 3 black tote bags. Gotta love the city. And here it was. I asked to release negativity and the universe obliged by showing me its ugly head.

Early on I also realized that "not being negative" wasn't going to happen. The exercise, at least so far, seems to really be more about recognizing when I'm being negative and then releasing it somehow, such as in the form of acknowledgement coupled with an apology. My boyfriend has been hearing a lot of apologies. So have I. And the emotions that have been coming up have been amazing. Feelings of sadness and anger that I thought I had gotten rid of long ago. What an opportunity to become aware to what I still carry in me. And I've so been tested these past two weeks with situations I would normally worry about that I've had to let go. It's been hard, but very, very cool.

In the meantime, I go with the flow, try not to over think it and let my intentions be my guide (sounds a bit like a Sting song, doesn't it?). I had no idea when I woke up that Friday that this exercise was going to show me so much. And it's only the 16th!

Creating Space

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Sun, 09 Apr 2006 13:36:00 +0000

So, my boyfriend and I are going to be moving in together at the end of the month. We've been talking about it for a year and have been together for four. I'm glad we waited (something new for me) as now the decision feels very organic - not that big of a deal, really. Well, that's what I say today, I reserve the right to change my mind. It's been a while since I've lived with someone and perhaps the experience will be mind-bogglingly new, only time will tell. At least for now, the living together part feels like the right flow.

But that's the living together part. The moving side of the equation is a totally different story. I hate to move. Hate the process of packing everything up and then unpacking everything at the other end. It's never been a favorite. When I find a place to live, I tend to stay there for a while. I like to nest. And what adds to the stress of this move is that we're consolidating two households which means we have to throw a lot out. A LOT out. My boyfriend has been moving a passel of boxes with him from place to place since well before I met him and I tend to have my clutter a little more cleverly disguised (in the form of a full storage space in the basement and random shopping bags of mementos on the back porch or the hall closet). But it's still there. All of it. My transcripts from college; random store credit cards that have long been cancelled; old wallets still holding receipts and about a dollar in change; broken dishes, pieces of fabric and cigar boxes I was going to use for crafts that never materialized; serving dishes I somehow feel I can't live without; a drawer full of kitchen gadgets - do I need that many wooden spoons? - that spill over into a second drawer...and it makes me tired looking at it all. The heaviness surrounding this stuff, this kipple as my boyfriend refers to it (from reading a lot of Philip K. Dick) has a lot of weight to it. And to think that not five years ago, all I needed I carried around with me in my car.

So as I sift through the things, resisting throwing anything out I remind myself that the more I hold onto these things, the less space I'm creating in my life. And I'm not just talking physical space but the whole feng shui of it all. To let new ideas, emotions, experiences enter your life, you have to create the space for them and a lot of times that means stripping yourself of the old. And it may seem counterintuitive at times - "But I want to write, shouldn't I keep everything I've written?" Maybe, but maybe not. Maybe the stuff that you've kept is anchoring you to the past and the best thing you can do is get rid of it, so you have the space to create something new, something more.

The saying holds so much truth: "The things you own end up owning you." I'm not saying that you shouldn't have things, just be mindful of the things you have. Is what's surrounding you supporting your life? Is it giving back to you? Is it helping you create the feelings you want to have about yourself and your path? If not, get rid of it! Get rid of it and watch what happens with the space you've created. You don't have to forget where you've come from, but holding on to the past will only keep you there. Personally, I want to allow myself to change.

So, today I'll get rid of most of the wooden spoons and I'll donate the craft stuff to a children's organization and I'll take some of the rest to Goodwill. And I'll enjoy the feeling of lightness I've created for myself, the new opportunities I've possibly given someone else and remember that I'm in the midst of starting this lovely new path with my boyfriend. And I'll try, just for a moment, not to hate moving so much.

Networking and Luck

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Tue, 24 Jan 2006 00:29:00 +0000

I'm a horrible networker. Horrible. I have a really hard time at these types of events. Standing around with drink in hand, talking about myself, "What do you do?... Oh, that's interesting" "What do you do?". And I really don't mind hearing about other people's lives - I rather enjoy it, it's the talking about me that gets hairy. I'm not very good at "promoting" myself when the spotlight is on. I love what I'm doing, yet talking about it just to get business feels weird and fake. But I know that if I want to succeed, I have to do a little bit more than wait for business to come to me...or do I?

I've been reading this book called "The Luck Factor" by Dr. Richard Wiseman - a fairly quick read that talks about how luck is more how you approach life and less about, well, some kind of magical fate. His first basic principle for leading a "lucky" life is: Maximize your chance opportunities. So, if your looking for a job (or for that matter, a place to live, a life-partner, a used TV...) the best way to optimize your ability to find one seems to have less to do with attending formal networking events and more to do with chance happenings. When I really thought about it, I realized I had a lot of examples of that in my life.

I found my first job because I told a friend of mine that I really wanted to work for this particular company in our town. Turns out he knew someone in the budgeting department that was looking for someone with my exact skill set. My last consulting gig (which has turned into numerous projects throughout the years) happened because I sent my resume to a speaker at a women's CPA meeting that a friend invited me to at the Como Inn. I didn't even know the topic when she invited me, but I wanted to see my friend (and I love the food at the Como Inn!). I've met clients in lines at museums where the last thing I was thinking about was hypnotherapy. And the hypnotherapy came about because it was offered as an elective at my massage school.

Depending on my mood, I can be the person at a party talking to strangers, or the one sitting quietly on the train reading a book. I don't plan on talking to everyone I see and it really, really seems that these kinds of situations come along when you're not too focused on looking for them. But opening yourself up to possibilities really can maximize these seemingly "chance" happenings. Not being shy about telling your friends what you're looking for, doing things that interest you and staying open to talking to the people around you, being sincere in your enthusiasm and keeping your ears open for others can take the work out of networking and what you want (or better yet, what you didn't even know you wanted) may just come to you.

Freaking Out for Free

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Sat, 19 Nov 2005 19:51:00 +0000

Consulting work had been nuts; my very reliable mechanics can't figure out what's wrong with my car; my TV shorted during a power surge and is getting fixed by a very jerky repair person; my printer refused to print and is in for repairs which I’ve now been told might take 6 weeks; and, on top of that I keep looking around my apartment wondering how I will possibly get all my things to fit into Stel's place which has no pantry and a whopping 3 small closets. And then, of course, there are the holidays and Stel had this great idea to give home-made food gifts and I decided it would also be fun to make our Christmas cards. I'm not sure what possessed me. And when Stel sees me looking around the apartment with that glazed stare he kisses me on the head and says, "Shhh…slow down...stop spinning your wheels." And he's right. And then I realize what I'm doing. My sister and I call it: "freaking out for free".

Freaking out for free is when you actually think up things to get upset about; things that aren't happening right at this very minute. Allowing myself to get all stressed out holds no value. It just eats up energy I could use to actually deal with what's going on. Something is either happening or it's not, it's dealable or it's not - and everything is dealable. Another familial saying, this one from my mother, comes to mind: "Give time to time". If you tell yourself you're going to give something x amount of time, then don't keep obsessing about it while you're giving it time. If my TV is supposed to be ready in a week, then wait the week before you worry what you're going to do if it's not ready in a week. Deal with it then. If not you've just freaked out for free during 7 days. You freaked out for nothing. If it's ready, well, there was no need to get upset. If it's not, well, then you'll figure something out.

Look, there are several things that could happen in life that would merit a little freaking: natural disasters, illnesses, overturning Roe vs. Wade, death of a loved one...get the picture? But freaking over things that start with "What if" is giving away energy for free. Keep your energy and use it for what's actually going on in your life. Yes, yes, easier said than done (isn't everything?) but it's a good to remind ourselves. God knows I need reminding fairly often (thanks Stel).

Releasing Old Patterns

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Fri, 28 Oct 2005 22:26:00 +0000

It's been a strange week. Yesterday I felt myself get into almost a panic over something that wasn't even happening. Honestly, had I not known better I would have thought I was going nuts. Okay, this is what went on - bear with me; I know it's kind of strange. I was feeling like I did one of the more traumatic times my ex-boyfriend and I broke up (very tumultuous relationship). I felt it like it was actually happening and since of course it didn’t make any sense that way, I transferred it onto my current relationship. I was convinced that my *current* boyfriend and I had dissolved our relationship (which is additionally weird, because this relationship is going really well). I was feeling it as if we were broken up that moment, that day. As if it was *real*, not just something I had casually thought of in my head. So, as I tend to do, I tried to figure it out. I started analyzing the feelings, "What's happened that I'm thinking these things? Is this a sign? Should I be figuring something out?" And as if going through this wasn't bad enough, all these old insecurities started popping up. I mean stuff I thought I was waaaay past. It was very unpleasant.

And then, something amazing happened. I remembered to do something else. I've been trying to remind myself to stop approaching everything the same way - that doing that will only keep me stuck in the same cycle. So, thankfully, miraculously I realized that this was a great opportunity to try to step out of myself and merely observe what was going on. Instead of spinning thoughts in my head (as I tend to do) like "Why do I feel this way? This isn't even true?" I chose to think, "This is so interesting, where are these feelings manifesting in my body?" And I noticed that these feeling were not in my gut - they didn't feel like intuition, they felt like something else. And then I took it a step further and tried to not fight these weird feelings, tried to let myself go through them. I let myself remember what it and I was like during that time in my life. Hey, it was only a memory, it couldn't hurt me. And the more I did this, the more distance I created and the faster the feelings went away. They just started to dissolve.

Terribly interesting that just a few days ago I decided to schedule a guided shivassana meditation centering on the idea of releasing old patterns. It reinforces the concept that whatever I do for others has to start with me first. And although I had been trying to break free of old habits - this was different; it felt as if the memory of these incidents, the feelings of them were truly released. It'll be interesting to see what I've just made room for by getting rid of that. But I’ll try not to *think* about it too much.

Cosmo's crazy moon

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Wed, 19 Oct 2005 03:34:00 +0000

Did you check out the moon last night? It was absolutely gorgeous!

Full moons and new moons are purported to be good times to set intentions for the coming cycle: Full moon - something you want to release/want less of; new moon - something you want to bring into your life/have more of. You can ritualize this as much or as little as you want. Get creative if you're moved to do so. I'll usually take a moment to sit with the question - I try to trust the first thing that comes to mind - then I write down my objective and put it in a small box. Sometimes I burn some sage, sometimes I light a candle, sometimes I write it down between brushing my teeth and going to bed.

Now, does it really, REALLY matter that you set your intention according to the moon? No. But perhaps there's something about the energetics surrounding the moon cycles that makes it a more powerful experience. Or perhaps it's just an accurate metaphor for the waxing and waning we deal with every day in our lives. All I know is that the moon is lovely and that I enjoy looking at it and if it reminds me to live a more “aware” life, well, then all the better.

Don't you just love garlic?

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Thu, 13 Oct 2005 17:33:00 +0000

I just attended my 20 year high school reunion last weekend which was a bit surreal. Sometimes the more things change the more they stay the same. I found myself looking at it from a somewhat disconnected point-of-view which turned out to be rather entertaining. And next week I'm going to do hypnotherapy work with my first cancer-fighting patient. We're going to be working to liberate him of his 2 pack a day smoking habit and support his body's ability to rid itself of the cancer (in conjunction with his medical treatments). I have great hope.

But what I'm really interested in writing about is food - specifically this new garlic snack I happened to "discover" while cooking the other day.

Okay, so you really, REALLY have to like garlic for this, but if you do, it's very tasty and an easy way to get more garlic in your diet. Garlic is said to have amazing healing properties, probably not scientifically supported, but either way who can get enough garlic? I can't! What to do: Take a whole grain cracker that has a rough texture and then rub a clove of garlic vigorously across the top. I like using Harvest Whole Wheats which have a "woven" look to them (also, they're baked and contain no trans fat). You'll be amazed at how much of the garlic "disappears" into the cracker. The fresher the garlic the tangier the taste. The result: an aromatic, garlicky and delicious snack. If you want, you can top the cracker with a fresh basil leaf or anything, really. That's it. Isn't that easy? Try it, it's good!

Of CEU's and past life regression

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Tue, 04 Oct 2005 03:40:00 +0000

Spent this weekend taking continuing education classes for my hypnotherapy certification with Pat O'Malley in Beecher, IL (which is about an hour outside of Chicago if traffic is clear). We studied pain management and past life regression which was fascinating and cool. I learned so much. Pat is an excellent teacher and someone that's simply really great to be around. She holds guided meditations at her home on Tuesdays, and if you're in the area, I recommend going.

It was also really interesting to discover even my own prejudices about hypnotherapy. Before I started any training in it I really thought it was going to be a very mystical thing, but there's really nothing mystical about it. It's all about relaxing your body so that the suggestions you want to give yourself can be delivered more directly into the subconscious where real change can occur. Since it's difficult to both relax yourself and talk to your subconscious (right side of the brain) without engaging the conscious part of the mind (left side of the brain), you need a hypnotherapist to facilitate. It's so powerful because the brain is so amazing, so capable. But it's not magic. Hypnotherapy only works if you're doing it for something you want in your life. It's not mind control (oh, if only it could be I'd have Stel taking out the garbage every day with a big smile on his face!). But I am amazed at what can happen - I've had several people come to me to quit smoking that have been able to do so in one session, which, I've been told is very unusual. I attribute this partly to my skill, but mostly to the client's willingness and desire. I did a session once so that I could feel more awake in the mornings and it's really helped. Is that because I'm open to the power of suggestion? Yeah. That's exactly why. Because I *wanted* to feel more awake when I got up I let myself be open to the power of that suggestion. What you need is to come from the point of "I really wish I could..." and mean it. There's not a single bit of me that really wishes I could wake up at the crack of dawn and go to a gym. No amount of hypnotherapy could get me to do that.

So, anyway, even though I *know* all of this, I still thought that the past life regression was going to be kind of spooky, and it wasn't at all. It's not about the actual past life (and you don't even have to believe in that to engage in a session). It's about the symbols we keep and the stories that we tell ourselves that manifest in undesirable ways in our psyches and bodies. It's less to do about "past life" regression and more to do about trying to go back to find the root, the source of the problems. Once that is accomplished, the person then knows what to work on or let go, and usually what has been ailing them clears up as they clear up their relationship to the source. Sounds a bit Matrix-y but it's really very straight-forward.

I love this work! Both doing it myself and helping others. It's a great intellectual and creative outlet for me and knowing that I'm helping make a difference in other people's lives is terribly satisfying. I know that sounds corny, but I was the little kid that got sucked in every time I heard the "I want to teach the world to sing" Coke commercial. Really. I was.

A blog is born...

noreply@blogger.com (Christa Ojeda) — Fri, 30 Sep 2005 20:43:00 +0000

I call this blog "Get What You Need" because that's my company's tag line. CMo Solutions is dedicated to helping people get what it is they need more of in their lives and absence that which they need less of. Sometimes that can be something HUGE...most of the time, I find, it's a series of little changes a person can make that improves their "day-to-day". Often, improvement comes slowly. There are choices I've made that feel downright awful when I'm making them that end up being the best things I've ever done.

For example, about five years ago I quit my rather lucrative consulting job, got rid of my large Roger's Park apartment, packed up my stuff and moved to Colorado with a boyfriend, I knew, wouldn't be long for the count. All I really understood was that I wanted something else and having resisted change for soooo long, figured I was going to have to do something drastic to erase the old paradigms I'd been living with. Paradigms surrounding security that were based on things that were always outside of myself - giving me only the illusion of security. I had to learn to let things go. The boyfriend and I broke up about 3 months later, but remained friends (and still are!). I never unpacked much of anything and essentially spent another $1,000 to move back what I'd moved there. For the next 16 months I lived at my ex-boyfriend's house in Colorado, friend's couches and spare beds in Illinois and the rare hotel room in between. Everything I needed, I carried with me in my car. In many ways it was a scary time. In others it was exhilarating. Full of ups and downs. But not only did I "survive" this self-imposed experience, it helped me gain the security I longed for and never really had. I learned to rely on the kindness and support of my friends. More importantly, I learned to rely on myself. I learned that sometimes you have to sit back and see what life is teaching you and that it's okay to do that. Progress isn't always linear.

Now, I'm doing some consulting and starting this new business. I rent a much smaller apartment and am involved with a partner that is very different than those that have come before. I approach life in a new way - although it's more subtle than you'd think.

I'm grateful for what life (in the form of people and experiences) has decided to teach me and for what I've been aware enough to hear. It's a fun ride and I hope to help others enjoy it as much as they can, too.