Testing, Testing...

I just realized it's been a year since I started this blog, about a year and a half since I launched my business in earnest and now 2 months since my last consulting gig. So far, so good. Every day brings different emotions and every day I take them all in and try and let them just go through me (even the good ones, which for me, isn't the easiest thing to do!). I continue learning, more experientially than ever these days, to go with the flow.

I was in Europe with my partner for 2 weeks in September and I came back with a wonderful sense of peace and ease, it was great. Shortly after my return, though, appointments were getting cancelled, family issues came up, several people that had registered for a couples massage class didn't show and through it all I found myself questioning more, losing my sense of center, wondering where I was going wrong.

But then it occurred to me, to just take it all in, do what I could when I could and then let it go. When I took a step back, it all seemed like one big test, really. A test to see if I could maintain that sense of peace when things weren't going my way - when I wasn't looking at a Modigliani exhibit in London or swimming at night in the hills of Tuscany. If, even when what I could offer felt like it wasn't being recognized, I could be okay with that. If I could still feel strongly about about my business and still keep pursuing the dream of making CMo Solutions my main source of income.

And slowly, I've been regaining my composure. I've taken time to work on our apartment (something much more difficult to accomplish while holding one full- and one part-time job). I redid my website, came up with a new offering I'm excited to develop, figured out how to use a PayPal account to send invoices, set up a few more classes and have allowed myself to remain open. As absolutely corny as it sounds, when one door closes, another really does open. Sometimes it's just kind of scary to go through it into the unknown. But what was I thinking? That I'd be consulting with the same company for the next 30 years? That my business would somehow magically turn into my full-time gig while I worked full-time at something else? It was time to follow my own advice.

So I'm making space, setting my intentions and believing. Believing in abundance, believing in myself and believing that things will continue to unfold and that my life, which is not a test, will continue to amaze me. It's been a fun one so far.