Releasing Old Patterns

It's been a strange week. Yesterday I felt myself get into almost a panic over something that wasn't even happening. Honestly, had I not known better I would have thought I was going nuts. Okay, this is what went on - bear with me; I know it's kind of strange. I was feeling like I did one of the more traumatic times my ex-boyfriend and I broke up (very tumultuous relationship). I felt it like it was actually happening and since of course it didn’t make any sense that way, I transferred it onto my current relationship. I was convinced that my *current* boyfriend and I had dissolved our relationship (which is additionally weird, because this relationship is going really well). I was feeling it as if we were broken up that moment, that day. As if it was *real*, not just something I had casually thought of in my head. So, as I tend to do, I tried to figure it out. I started analyzing the feelings, "What's happened that I'm thinking these things? Is this a sign? Should I be figuring something out?" And as if going through this wasn't bad enough, all these old insecurities started popping up. I mean stuff I thought I was waaaay past. It was very unpleasant.

And then, something amazing happened. I remembered to do something else. I've been trying to remind myself to stop approaching everything the same way - that doing that will only keep me stuck in the same cycle. So, thankfully, miraculously I realized that this was a great opportunity to try to step out of myself and merely observe what was going on. Instead of spinning thoughts in my head (as I tend to do) like "Why do I feel this way? This isn't even true?" I chose to think, "This is so interesting, where are these feelings manifesting in my body?" And I noticed that these feeling were not in my gut - they didn't feel like intuition, they felt like something else. And then I took it a step further and tried to not fight these weird feelings, tried to let myself go through them. I let myself remember what it and I was like during that time in my life. Hey, it was only a memory, it couldn't hurt me. And the more I did this, the more distance I created and the faster the feelings went away. They just started to dissolve.

Terribly interesting that just a few days ago I decided to schedule a guided shivassana meditation centering on the idea of releasing old patterns. It reinforces the concept that whatever I do for others has to start with me first. And although I had been trying to break free of old habits - this was different; it felt as if the memory of these incidents, the feelings of them were truly released. It'll be interesting to see what I've just made room for by getting rid of that. But I’ll try not to *think* about it too much.

Cosmo's crazy moon

Did you check out the moon last night? It was absolutely gorgeous!

Full moons and new moons are purported to be good times to set intentions for the coming cycle: Full moon - something you want to release/want less of; new moon - something you want to bring into your life/have more of. You can ritualize this as much or as little as you want. Get creative if you're moved to do so. I'll usually take a moment to sit with the question - I try to trust the first thing that comes to mind - then I write down my objective and put it in a small box. Sometimes I burn some sage, sometimes I light a candle, sometimes I write it down between brushing my teeth and going to bed.

Now, does it really, REALLY matter that you set your intention according to the moon? No. But perhaps there's something about the energetics surrounding the moon cycles that makes it a more powerful experience. Or perhaps it's just an accurate metaphor for the waxing and waning we deal with every day in our lives. All I know is that the moon is lovely and that I enjoy looking at it and if it reminds me to live a more “aware” life, well, then all the better.

Don't you just love garlic?

I just attended my 20 year high school reunion last weekend which was a bit surreal. Sometimes the more things change the more they stay the same. I found myself looking at it from a somewhat disconnected point-of-view which turned out to be rather entertaining. And next week I'm going to do hypnotherapy work with my first cancer-fighting patient. We're going to be working to liberate him of his 2 pack a day smoking habit and support his body's ability to rid itself of the cancer (in conjunction with his medical treatments). I have great hope.

But what I'm really interested in writing about is food - specifically this new garlic snack I happened to "discover" while cooking the other day.

Okay, so you really, REALLY have to like garlic for this, but if you do, it's very tasty and an easy way to get more garlic in your diet. Garlic is said to have amazing healing properties, probably not scientifically supported, but either way who can get enough garlic? I can't! What to do: Take a whole grain cracker that has a rough texture and then rub a clove of garlic vigorously across the top. I like using Harvest Whole Wheats which have a "woven" look to them (also, they're baked and contain no trans fat). You'll be amazed at how much of the garlic "disappears" into the cracker. The fresher the garlic the tangier the taste. The result: an aromatic, garlicky and delicious snack. If you want, you can top the cracker with a fresh basil leaf or anything, really. That's it. Isn't that easy? Try it, it's good!

Of CEU's and past life regression

Spent this weekend taking continuing education classes for my hypnotherapy certification with Pat O'Malley in Beecher, IL (which is about an hour outside of Chicago if traffic is clear). We studied pain management and past life regression which was fascinating and cool. I learned so much. Pat is an excellent teacher and someone that's simply really great to be around. She holds guided meditations at her home on Tuesdays, and if you're in the area, I recommend going.

It was also really interesting to discover even my own prejudices about hypnotherapy. Before I started any training in it I really thought it was going to be a very mystical thing, but there's really nothing mystical about it. It's all about relaxing your body so that the suggestions you want to give yourself can be delivered more directly into the subconscious where real change can occur. Since it's difficult to both relax yourself and talk to your subconscious (right side of the brain) without engaging the conscious part of the mind (left side of the brain), you need a hypnotherapist to facilitate. It's so powerful because the brain is so amazing, so capable. But it's not magic. Hypnotherapy only works if you're doing it for something you want in your life. It's not mind control (oh, if only it could be I'd have Stel taking out the garbage every day with a big smile on his face!). But I am amazed at what can happen - I've had several people come to me to quit smoking that have been able to do so in one session, which, I've been told is very unusual. I attribute this partly to my skill, but mostly to the client's willingness and desire. I did a session once so that I could feel more awake in the mornings and it's really helped. Is that because I'm open to the power of suggestion? Yeah. That's exactly why. Because I *wanted* to feel more awake when I got up I let myself be open to the power of that suggestion. What you need is to come from the point of "I really wish I could..." and mean it. There's not a single bit of me that really wishes I could wake up at the crack of dawn and go to a gym. No amount of hypnotherapy could get me to do that.

So, anyway, even though I *know* all of this, I still thought that the past life regression was going to be kind of spooky, and it wasn't at all. It's not about the actual past life (and you don't even have to believe in that to engage in a session). It's about the symbols we keep and the stories that we tell ourselves that manifest in undesirable ways in our psyches and bodies. It's less to do about "past life" regression and more to do about trying to go back to find the root, the source of the problems. Once that is accomplished, the person then knows what to work on or let go, and usually what has been ailing them clears up as they clear up their relationship to the source. Sounds a bit Matrix-y but it's really very straight-forward.

I love this work! Both doing it myself and helping others. It's a great intellectual and creative outlet for me and knowing that I'm helping make a difference in other people's lives is terribly satisfying. I know that sounds corny, but I was the little kid that got sucked in every time I heard the "I want to teach the world to sing" Coke commercial. Really. I was.